Day Twenty-Five: Water
Water is one of my favorite things. I love rain, swimming, showering. My favorite is swimming. I would love to have an endless pool, but I can’t afford one. I could do “laps” and water walk, without having to be in the presence of anyone else.
That’s one of 3 things that stops me from getting a membership at the YMCA. 1) I’d have to be in the pool with other people, B) I don’t have the money to pay for a membership and 3) I don’t want to wear a bathing suit in front of other people.
See being in the water makes my back not hurt, at all. Makes everything stop hurting. And it’s truly an excellent work out because water gives you the resistance that you need.
I looked into a place that has a wonderful pool and it was twice the amount of the YMCA, which sucks. But it will happen, in which ever way it’s supposed to.
Day Twenty-Three: Bravery
Bravery is something that I struggle with a lot. I have a bad habit of making myself so nervous that all my bravery, of there was any to begin with, is gone. I am terrible at doing this to myself.
That was part of the reason for me getting on TikTok and doing this site a blog instead of just a portfolio. It’s kind of like throwing myself to the wolves, even though I haven’t done anything significant, it’s a start.
Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith first. The trust part comes later.
– Father Leone, Man of Steel (2013)
I feel like I’m ready to stop doing that to myself, but it’s hard to quit an old habit. But it is a work in progress.
Day Twenty-Two: Small Steps
I’m a planner for big things. And you can ask anyone, I look at EVERYTHING. I’ll have maps, a list of all the things I want to do and even a list of places to get food and what to eat there.
I don’t know why but I feel better when I can plan this way because that way I can mark things off my list and make sure that I get to do everything that I wanted to do.
I’ve been planning trips to Walt Disney World and Universal Studios Florida. Now am I going to go anytime soon, no more than likely not, but that hasn’t stopped me from dreaming and planning. It may not happen soon, but it will happen.
On top of planning, saving money is a big necessity. Small steps in saving money. I need to go back to taking a little money out of my account as soon as I get paid and put it in a jar or something.
“Everything can be achieved through gradual steps – one small step at a time: overcoming fears, fulfilling dreams… anything you wish to be different from the way it is.”
― A.J. Darkholme, Rise of the Morningstar
May not be the long of thing that other people would be working towards, but I bet their dreams are just as meaningful to them as mine are to me.
Day Twenty-One: Talk
You know what’s funny, I don’t mind talking to people in person, but I hate talking on the phone. Which is ironic because the past 2 major jobs I’ve had consist of talking on a phone.
The first one was working as a 911 dispatcher. I loved being a dispatcher, but I didn’t love a lot of the people I worked with. The second one is the job I’m currently doing, which is roadside assistance dispatching. Not so fond of this job, but it’s a job none the less.
I would love job in writing, photography or music, but right now I’m just focusing on what I have going on.
Day Twenty: Letter
This one’s a hard one for me. There are so many things that I would love to tell several different people. Some good, some bad, some in between. There are some people that I would like to write a letter to, to tell them how much they mean to me.
There are a few people that I would love to tell how they treated me really hurt and how it hurt. There are a very few that I would love to tell them how much of I love them, but how they drive me absolutely bat shit crazy!
The only problem is when I sit down to actually write a letter (regardless of if I actually send it or not), I hate how everything comes out on paper. I always sound completely stupid. Well to me I sound stupid.
The problem is that it’s harder to say these things in person, but it’s harder to put it into words on a piece of paper.